08 December 2013

The unknown

Lately friends and family in New Mexico and Arizona have been asking me things like:

How long are you going to be up there?
("there" as in Washington)

Where do you want to end up?

What city is your ideal place to live?

Will you ever move back?

I've lived in three cities in my 23 years, and each one was perfect for the stage of my life I lived there for.

As an adolescent, I've changed so much (from 18 to now) and I have so many goals I want to accomplish, it is impossible to say where I want to end up.

Especially with everything that's happened in the last year, I've learned nothing is permanent. And, with so much ahead of me in the next few years, I have no idea how to answer these questions other than "we'll find out".

And I truly mean WE as in YOU and ME, because if you asked me 6 months ago what I'd be doing right now, I told you I was hella excited to go to Europe in February and move back to Arizona in summer.

But then this happened, so my life took a giant 90 degree turn. Which isn't necessarily bad, just unexpected. But it really drove the nail in that plans usually get messed up.

I'm not sitting here doing nothing. I do have goals, plans, hopes, dreams that I'm working toward. I just don't have a deadline anymore.

It's a fine line between "this is where I'd like to be" and "this is where I HAVE to be (and if I'm not there by then, I'm a failure)".

As for my ideal city, Albuquerque was a great place for me to grow up; Flagstaff was a great place to start my independent life; Cheney is a great place to rebuild my life.

Who knows where life will take me to the next ideal location?

(Hint: I don't. That's part of the adventure.)

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