30 January 2013

The parasitic process

I've never wanted to be pregnant. Sure, I wanted kids, but pregnant? Nah. Growing up, I had a friend who thought pregnancy was beautiful.

I thought she was batsh*t crazy.

I love kids -- Future teacher. Kind of have to -- and I especially love babies. But I did not see the appeal of pregnancy. I believe I used to refer to it as a parasitic process.

What's so beautiful about stretch marks, nausea, discomfort, peeing every ten minutes, people staring at you, touching you without permission, and giving you advice you really don't want...and then judging you on what you've decided? Not to mention actually pushing a baby out of your hoohah.

No thanks! I'll adopt/hire a surrogate.

But lately, with several of my friends pregnant and several trying to get pregnant (plus spending way too much time reading mommy blogs), I've really started to see the true beauty of pregnancy.

I may blow up to the size of a beachball and my lady parts may get wrecked for a while, but I'll be the only person who knows what it's like to know my baby's habits from the time they could move. I'll spend 9 intimate months (okay, 7, since the average pregnancy is discovered at 6-8 weeks) being the only person the baby has physically come to contact with. I'll feel every move, know what (s)he's craving, and even be able to "feel out" what gender the baby may be. 

There's nothing that can replace that. Furthermore, some women -- no matter how hard they wish, hope, pray, and try -- will never feel that magic.

It's an awesome realization to know that even though I don't plan on getting pregnant for quite a few years, it's an experience I can now look forward to, rather than dread.

Birth is a completely different story, though.

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